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02 July 2014

Solo Traveling – Soul Searching – Finding Oneself.




Looking at the infinity, the waves touch my feet, the wind whisper my ear.  5:30 in the afternoon while the sunset introduces me to the darkness, the color of the sky changes rapidly.  I just realized that life is too short while staring at the fast pacing sunset – as fast as taking calls in my “call center life”, wherein I need to finish each calls in average of 250 seconds or else I will lose my incentives for the month. 

Unconsciously, my tear fell down. I don’t know what seems to be the reason.  I kept stressing on my previous post “Reason why I travel”, however despite of that post, why I really Travel spontaneously - if you’re gonna ask it directly to my heart, my heart can’t answer. 



The splendor of solo travel is time. I got time to be alone and talk to myself.  I steeped in a peaceful silence. I felt refreshed.  I was like a very strong person who allowed to be separated the reality and live the paradise alone. It was very fulfilling and I learned to value my self – my life to be specific. 

“I am not getting younger; five years from now I can no longer guarantee that I can still have the skin – the same skin that I am proud of today.”  Sigh…. 

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I've been single for a long span of time. Living life alone, hahhahaa.. Well, I am no longer afraid of travelling alone… because I've been traveling all by myself for all of my life. There is no room for fear anymore. But why every time the coldness of surrounding starts to embrace me, I also felt an emptiness deep within.  “Am I really strong?” …

The breeze answered me. “Jonathan! You’ll start understanding yourself on a level you probably didn't even know was possible. When you’re on the road and all the decisions are up to you, you’ll start to realize things about yourself that you probably weren't even aware of before you stepped out of your comfort zone. “
The sand added “For one, you didn't realize you had a knack for pronouncing strange words in different languages- languages that your heart can only understand. “ 

The sun gave HIS final word before HE fades “Don’t be sad, WE know that you are intellectually strong but honestly you are very emotionally suppressed. Remember my Friend, Jonathan; you also didn’t know how much you actually enjoy the company of just you….Go back to your tent and sleep. I know you are not alone, because you are with yourself.  ”

I just cried.. I wanted to stop it but I can’t… I am weak... Yes.. I thought solo traveling is a way for me to showcase my strength but I was wrong… Solo travelling reminded me that I am also WEAK – I just hide it.  
(While writing this article.. I was crying)

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